Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Create Our Own Destiny

about me:
PUNJABI's arent good,
we r da best

PUNJABI's arent cute,
we r sooooo BANGIN!!!......

PUNJABI's dont relax,
we chill

PUNJABI's dont dance,
we Bhangra

PUNJABI's dont just do it,
we do it best

PUNJABI's are da people u cant just have faith,
u may ALWAYS trust

PUNJABI's arent nice,
we r sweet

PUNJABI's arent just friends,
we r lovers

PUNJABI's arent cool,
we r awesome



PUNJABI's r...........

there are not enough words dat could explain how n who
PUNJABI's are

People envy us cus they kno we r better!!!!
BRAAAAAAAAAAP

No nationality is more BANGIN then d word
PUNJABI's !!!!!!!!

N EVERYBODY LOVES US CUZ WERE UNIQUE N DA BEST THERE COULD BE!!!!!!
!!!!! WE ARE
PUNJABI's N SO DAMN PROUD OF IT !!!!!









Destiny is not a matter of chance;It is a matter of choice,


It is not something to be waited for,but something to be achieved.


We can dream anything we want to dream.


We can do anything we want to do.


We can be anything we want to be


It is simply a matter trusting ourselves to test our limites


to push ourselves to the every edge of our natural ability,


......and then one glorious step.....

'Create Our Own Destiny'

Punjabi Poem

PUNJABI's arent good,
we r da best

PUNJABI's arent cute,
we r sooooo BANGIN!!!......

PUNJABI's dont relax,
we chill

PUNJABI's dont dance,
we Bhangra

PUNJABI's dont just do it,
we do it best

PUNJABI's are da people u cant just have faith,
u may ALWAYS trust

PUNJABI's arent nice,
we r sweet

PUNJABI's arent just friends,
we r lovers

PUNJABI's arent cool,
we r awesome



PUNJABI's r...........

there are not enough words dat could explain how n who
PUNJABI's are

People envy us cus they kno we r better!!!!
BRAAAAAAAAAAP

No nationality is more BANGIN then d word
PUNJABI's !!!!!!!!

N EVERYBODY LOVES US CUZ WERE UNIQUE N DA BEST THERE COULD BE!!!!!!
!!!!! WE ARE
PUNJABI's N SO DAMN PROUD OF IT !!!!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Make Procrastination Work for You

Everyone, to some degree, procrastinates. We all put off things that we don't want to do. That doesn't mean we do nothing. Au contraire! Most procrastinators get plenty done; it just isn't what is most important or urgent. Procrastination is the art of doing something else when there are more important things to do. There is a way to make procrastination work for you. Since all of us have this skill to varying degrees of proficiency we might as well put it to use.

The act of delaying is the true gift of procrastination. Until now you might not have thought of it as a gift, but it is. Many people get overbooked and overload their schedules with activities and commitments they don't want to do because they said yes before they really thought about it. Delaying is a great way to prevent over- scheduling and saying yes to things you should decline. When someone asks you to do something, respond that you need to check your schedule. Ask for a day or two to think about it and tell them you will get back with your answer. Use procrastination as a tool to prevent yourself from getting overbooked.

Procrastination will also assist with getting a lot done. I know it sounds strange, but it works exceptionally well. The trick is to have a major project that needs completion, but that you don't want to do it. My house was never cleaner than when I was working on my dissertation. My husband actually caught me outside cleaning the kitchen garbage can with a toothbrush. When he asked what I was doing I replied, "Avoiding working on my dissertation." I knew exactly what I was doing and it worked. I got a lot accomplished including my dissertation. The key is to leverage the advantage of procrastination. Let it move you to complete all the jobs you want to get done. You will still have time to complete the big job you have been avoiding




Procrastination has a bad reputation, but the truth is that it can help you accomplish a great deal. Use procrastination to your advantage. Use it to delay saying yes to everything. This way you will give yourself time to think, and you won't get overbooked. It will also help you get things done because, when you are procrastinating, you aren't just sitting around. You are doing any task to avoid doing what you need to be doing. That is fine, and actually you will get twice as much done. So stop beating yourself up and enjoy perfecting the art of procrastination.


in Motivation

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Ask Don't Tell Leadership - What If I Lose Control Of My Staff As A Leader?

Question: I am a sales manager for a business services firm in Minneapolis. I am responsible for all new business revenue for my company and I have 5 sales people that work for me. Of the 5 sales people only one is a star performer. The issue I am having is he breaks all the rules and creates really bad relationships with all the other people in the company. I am on the senior team and the rest of them are angry that this keeps happening. While I don't like to hear the comments from the senior team, I am aware that I cannot make my numbers goals and the company can't make there's for the year without him. What do I do?

Answer: I call this a terrorist! A terrorist is someone who knows what they have on you and they use it to hold you and everyone else in the company hostage to their behavior. I like to take my clients through an exercise of understanding the Goal, Position, and Strategy Questions to determine what actions need to be done.

The first question I ask is, "What is the goal around the problem?" This is to ensure that we are aiming at the right issue. What I invite my clients to do is to first reflect on the organization's overall goal. Then link that to the current situation. This way what ever you do, you will be in total alignment with what is best for the business overall.

In this situation you have identified the fact that in order to make your business unit's goals and the company's, you need this employee. That is a big step and oftentimes leaders become so emotionally charged by such situations they act before they consider the goals and objectives of the company or the department. I commend you for your forethought. Typically leaders who do this are considered high in emotional intelligence. This has been shown to be one of the key components in assessing one's long term success in their career.

The next step is to understand the position you and your company are in. Elevate to 50,000 foot level to see the whole situation. Go beyond yourself and ask, "How did this begin to happen? Sometimes we might find the root cause built into the culture of the organization. Is this type of behavior is tolerated here?

In the case of Enron when the CEO learned that two of the traders were stealing from the company he did nothing and then soon after said, 'keep making us money.' What they were stealing was minor compared to what they were making the company. He knew that if he took action, he would stop his revenue machine that he needed because it was his end goal. It also gave permission to the others that if they were that good at making money for the company they could steal from the company as well. It was the outcome they got, should not have been a surprise. This is the extreme case of the terrorist working for the company - and it was exaggerated by a lack of moral compass by the leadership. In the case you present, it is apparent that this behavior is contrary to what the leadership tolerates is searching for from a behavior.

Once you go up to the 50,000 foot level and see if the company has had complicity in the situation, then it is good to come down to 10,000 foot perspective and see if "you" have complicity in the situation. To be frank, and I hate doing this in a column where I can't ask qualifying questions, but it is hard to imagine that you did not allow this to happen. It is not about absolving the terrorist from his behavior because that is wrong, however, if you had stopped the behavior cold, this would never have happened. I say this because the solution, whatever one you choose, will need to involve your being mentored or coached into creating boundaries for your team. Without these boundaries you will be faced with this issue again.

The third part of our position investigation is to go to ground level – the situation itself. When we find ourselves in this type of situation with an employee we only have two choices, we can either fire or teach. If an employee makes a mistake, it is because we did not teach them correctly or because they are not capable to do the function. Ask three questions to determine what choice to make. The first, is the employee capable of learning? Secondly, does the organization or I have the time and resources available to train this employee? Lastly, is this employee motivated to learn and change? If you answer anyone of of these questions is NO, the decision is chosen, you need to let this person go. The decision is, as Donald Trump would say, You're Fired!




It is unclear from your description if the employee has the capacity to change behavior, so I will assume that he is rather good at what he does for your organization and likely has the ability to change. It is clear that for your number one producer you should have the resources and time to help him come into alignment with the company. The bigger issue is that of motivation. Often times a terrorist does not feel the threat of what can happen to them if they don't start falling in to line. They have become fat, and happy and arrogant! This arrogance is what blocks their ability to realize that they need to change. The company has reached a point where it can no longer tolerate this kind of behavior.

Unlike Donald's TV Drama we live in the real world, and just letting him go is not a great first choice given the company's dependence on his revenue.

In almost all other circumstances the move would surely be to fire, but because this employee mean so much to the organizations health as far as revenue.

The last part of understanding our position is to understand whose decision is it to make, and what needs to be done. If the consequences of your actions will compromise the strategic direction of the company, I would invite you to consider involving the senior team and that the responsibility is yours to deal with it, and the final decision may actually be the team's or the CEO's call, given its importance to the organization.

This is truly a strategic decision then, it is not simply letting one person go, it is letting many people go, if one presumes in a service firm, lower revenue means fewer employees needed to service the customers.

At this point I would coach you to have a conversation with your CEO and the rest of the strategic team and tell them the steps that you are considering and ask these strategic questions: At what point as an organization are we willing to take a principled stance on the issue over that of revenue? Are we clear what the outcome of this will be to our other employees? Will we need to do cost cutting to compensate for this move? What will the industry see from losing our most talented sales person? Will he go work for our competition? What impact will that have on your company? By working through these strategic issues as an organization and lifting this issue to its proper place the senior team - you will be aligning everyone to be part of the process and stop complaining about it.

By going through these questions the conclusion you may arrive at the end of this process is that you use a three pronged approach to dealing with this situation. Executing three plans simultaneously.

Plan "A" You will need to continue coaching the employee towards the behavior that is in alignment with the firm's values, beliefs, and rules.

Plan "B", at the same time I would highly recommend moving the rest of the sales team to a higher level to loose your dependence on this terrorist, and operationalize Plan "C" and start the recruiting process for the possible if not probable replacement of the employee.

It is important that the others on the senior team and your sales team know that you are coaching this employee in these areas of behavior and that it is not sitting OK with you. But no more information than that - it is inappropriate to say more than that in a public setting. It will build your credibility as a leader and not allow one persons behavior sink the culture the company wants to build.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

ROAR with CONFIDENCE!!

I am back, after a few days of vacationing with family. Weather was awesome, the beach was full of nasty jelly-fish, yuk! All-in-all, life has been good. I hope life has been as good for all of you.

Well I will start this article out by telling you that I did ROAR with CONFIDENCE when I was on vacation. I went to the beach several times and trust me, to walk the beach and play with a child and race her in nothing more than a small bathing suit, is a total ROAR for this girl. We seem to be constantly looking for an easy way out to gain confidence. I hate to share this reality check people, but confidence is something that we already have and have always had since our cute little butts were spanked at birth. Look no further, I have looked up the dictionary meaning of CONFIDENCE for your minds to grasp, here it is:

confi-dence...1. full trust:belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing. 2 .belief in oneself and one`s powers or abilities: self-confidence: self-reliance, assurance which implies faith in oneself.

As you can see there, it is all inside of your head. You must belief in you. First and foremost, you must trust you and your abilities to survive with greatness and good feelings about who you are, what you look like, how you think, how you love, how you deal with unexpected events, but most of all how you continue to build your inner confidence, even when the going gets tough. There are so many outer elements that continue to test our inner confidence, that it's no wonder we scramble at the best of times to smile, when we just want to scream. I have spoken of a few throughout my blogs: television, videos, reality shows, climbing of the "corporate ladder", society`s constant attack on aging, over weight people, and please do not forget about the children.

Children are faced with fears that threaten their confidence all the time. They fear their parents will look down on them for not having the best grades. They fear their peers will toss them to the curb if they do not follow. They hear continuously how messed up their world has become, and how it is teaching them negative things. How can that not weaken their CONFIDENCE. It would kill mine. I'm just happy that I was strong enough to know the difference between WWF wrestling, cartoons and real life.

To ROAR with CONFIDENCE is as effective as telling the world to BITE ME! I love to say that as you all know.(winks) CONFIDENCE is not easy to keep strong, when we feel threatened inside, or we feel our relationship is being threatened. We immediately feel it is us, that are at fault, which in turn strikes down our confidence.

We need to trust in ourselves, trust that we know what we want and what is good for us. Your life is not suppose to be a debate on how you should fit in, or whether someone tells you how to look or feel about you. You are your life. Your lack of confidence removes you from who you are meant to be. Trusting and having CONFIDENCE in you does not mean that you will always be right about things, but it does give you strength to overcome your doubts, low self-esteem and correct your wrongs and rise above the lesser you.


I sometimes wonder why people do what they do. Is it because they lack confidence and feel that any type of attention will build their self-esteem? Or is it that they truly just do not care anymore and let themselves be the joke of the moment? I have the seen women in internet porn.(research purposes only) Now this is my opinion, so bear with me here: I am in no way judging anyone, but I do want to reach out to them and tell them there are better ways to build up confidence and feel wanted and appreciated. For the women that fall into the prostitution world and feel that is the only way to stardom; when did they lose their respect and self-esteem and when did they become afraid to ROAR with CONFIDENCE? Women that have been scorned and throw themselves away literally to the bar scene, where they become a piece of meat and are treated worse than a dog, you know that you are not happy there and that those roads to better feelings are not the right roads. How can one respect themselves if they have no strength to ROAR with CONFIDENCE? I cry for all women that have fallen into the traps of feeling that attention will bring them higher. They will never find their freedom to ROAR with CONFIDENCE if they continue to depend on anything or anyone outside of themselves to get them there.

You need to save yourselves. You stay in negative environments where you feel threatened because you need so much acceptance that you have been mislead to believe that it will strengthen your CONFIDENCE. You were born with what you need to save you! DO NOT wait for help. Help yourself. Do not cry to be rescued, it will not happen. YOU and you alone, have to make that climb. Just trust your feelings and follow them. Trust that you alone, can give yourself all the strength to ROAR with CONFIDENCE.

I am hoping, that through my website and these written thoughts, that some women out there will wake up and see that they are unique without all the negative attention they feel is the way. Just be YOU! You can only be your best as being you. Not by following someone else`s standards, but only fulfilling your own. Love you first and most. Strive to ROAR with CONFIDENCE and DO NOT let anyone take you down.

You are you, and that in itself is a very special gift that no one else has. The more I believe in me, the easier it is for me to grow stronger inside and fight all the negative elements that I come across day after day. Life is not easy, nor does it come with any promises. As I have said so many times, "What does not kill you, will only make you stronger". Live those words people and I mean it when I say it, " ROAR with CONFIDENCE". It truly is a feel good tip. (ROARZ)

I seek myself in everything I do.

I find myself.

I dream my dreams wherever I go.

I become myself.

I ROAR with CONFIDENCE!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com


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Sunday, September 26, 2010

How To Attain And Retain Peace Of Mind

"Do not disturb." This sign is often times seen on doorknobs of hotel rooms. Obviously, the person on the other side of the door wants some peace and quiet. This kind of peace is superficial, one that is obvious and literal.

There's another kind of peace most people aspire for. It's peace of mind. Some people have peace of mind only when they are asleep. Perhaps this is possible only when they are physically tired or exhausted, and the urge to sleep is stronger than the need to have peace of mind.

However, having a disturbed mind will keep you awake night after night. Your entire well-being will be adversely affected. Your physical health will deteriorate. The longer this persists, the more extensive the damages will become. Don't wait until the damage becomes irreversible.

Find the cause of your troubled mind. Trouble lies in the mind. Ask yourself what is disturbing you. Part of it is probably made up of fear, self-pity, insecurity, and failures, to name a few. All of these are products of negative thinking that pollutes the mind unnecessarily. Face your troubles with courage by casting out the negative feelings of fear and insecurity. Empty your mind of all these negative habits. Don't leave your mind empty for long to prevent it from leaning back to the negative side.

Keep on casting out all negative thoughts by emptying them from your mind, and refill with positive and inspiring thoughts. Do this process as often as necessary - every time you think you need to. By repeating this process, you are practicing good habits aimed at keeping your mind free of negative thoughts and full of positive vibrations to achieve peace of mind. Ultimately, this habit will become part of your daily activities until you get used to it. Once you do, you will find everything you do to be positive based in an effortless manner.

You may ask, "Just how do you unload negative thoughts and load in positive ones?" One of the best ways to do this is by visualization. Picture peaceful scenes in your mind. For instance, you can initially picture in your mind a rainforest being battered by stormy weather. Branches of trees are vigorously swinging in all directions. Everything seems to be chaotic, just like a troubled mind. But storms don't last. They move on. When they leave, sunshine or good weather comes in.

A troubled mind is like a storm in your mind. Once the problem is gone, you will have peace of mind. Try to build a strong foundation of positive attitudes so that when another storm hits your mind, you're prepared to face it. This is similar to practicing positive attitudes. Going back to the rainforest on a beautiful weather, doesn't it look and feel peaceful? This is how your state of mind should be - peaceful so that it can be harnessed to obtain an enjoyable life.

There are many other ways to generate a peaceful mind. Think of words that suggest a calm mind - words like tranquil (a tranquil sea), serene, harmony, and stillness. Read poems, phrases, and excerpts that suggest a peaceful mind. You can also join group talks where the discussion is centered on how to achieve a mind harmonious with peace, love, and happiness. If you prefer to be on your own, moments of silence can make you obtain peace of mind. The library is a suitable place to be in. Pick up a book that suggests peace of mind and you may be able to find other means to obtain your objective.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

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Friday, August 27, 2010

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Thursday, August 26, 2010

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Friday, August 20, 2010

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010

Wheat Thins - Sponsored Post

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Thursday, July 15, 2010

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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

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Friday, June 11, 2010

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Giving the moon - Sponsored Post

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

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Friday, May 14, 2010

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Monday, May 10, 2010

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Sunday, May 9, 2010

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Friday, May 7, 2010

Flip Ultra HD - Bundle deal from Walmart - Sponsored Post

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Monday, May 3, 2010

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

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